The Tube Supersedes All

I am a working girl. Always have been! I had worked 16 years as a teacher before I had Sloane. I can honestly say that I loved my job. Of course there were bad days, but overall I enjoyed going to work everyday. Before I had my daughter, my job defined me. My students were my children. I spent more time with them than anyone else in my life. 


When we had Sloane, I was dying to stay home with her for one maybe 2 years and then head back to my classroom. I had made my intentions clear to my husband on our 1st date. What's funnier that or the fact he continued dating me??? Now, the fact is that going back to work sooner than later may not be the case. My hubby and I have made a decision that the tube supersedes all in terms of my job. The reasons are ones that we both agree upon. While Sloane has a feeding tube, my job will be to be home with her. I am by no means complaining, I love being home with my daughter. This job far surpasses anything else I have ever done in my life. Being a mom is the hardest job in the world. Many days, Sloane is more challenging than 18 school age children. I used to wonder what my friends who were stay at home moms would do all day. I would think: don't they get bored, they must get to sit and relax. Boy was I wrong!!!!!


Last night, some of my colleagues were on national television speaking about a reading program that I taught while I was in my classroom. It did make me miss my students and the fulfillment you feel when you see a child learn something right in front of your eyes. Almost simultaneously, my father called and we were chatting our his granddaughter. I was telling him a story that explained why I think Sloane is a child who "connects the dots." Her feeding pump and tube were on the floor and she was investigating it while sitting on my lap. A few minutes later, she proceeded to lift her shirt and bring the connector piece to her mickey button. I was in awe for 2 reasons. 1. I don't think I was ever aware at how much babies/toddlers learn so quickly. 2. It was obvious that Sloane now knows that her button is something to explore.  OH DEAR!!!! Anyhow, my dad's response to my story was "she's smart, she's smart because you are always with her. do you know how great that is" I dismissed the comment quickly.  But it made me think does the tube supersede all for me or does motherhood? 


Whichever it is my job now is motherhood and it will be that forever! I have a friend who says "Listen, they aren't going to put on your tombstone whether or not you breastfed, got back into your size 6 jeans w/in 3 months of delivering or that your baby was a genius. It is just going to say that you are a mother." Amen to that!!!!