My husband and I saw some friends last night that we had not seen in a year or so. It is always nice to see them. They just had their 2nd child. The husband politely asked my hubby how Sloane was in terms of her laryngeal cleft. My hubby gave him an update on Sloane's progress to which he replied "someday, you wont even remember this happened."
We have heard different versions of that statement since Sloane was born:
this will be a distant memory soon enough,
when she is older, you won't remember these days
so many things will happen in her lifetime, this experience will fade away
I can not say any of those statements make sense to me. How will we forget everything that has happened in these 18 months medically (post: Are We There Yet) or how will we forget that our child had a feeding tube? I do not think we will ever forget or will want to forget it. This experience has shaped us as a partnership, family and parents.
I am sure people do not know exactly what to say to us in regards to the cleft. I know everyone means well and are trying to be kind. When my hubby and I talked about the comment this morning. He looked at me and asked what I thought the husband should have said. I couldn't come up with an exact answer. I thought about what I would have said if the rolls were reversed and I was still at loss. The truth is that there is nothing that anyone can say to us that will feel right..unless they have walked a day in our shoes.
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