Panic Has Set In

The countdown has begun. We are leaving for our trip on Sunday. Panic has set in for both of us. My hubby is very used to leaving Sloane for days at a time, but he isn't used to doing that without me here and I have only left Sloane for 2 separate overnights without him with her. Panic has set in for us both. We spent time last night discussing whether we should take Sloane with us and beg "the machine" to join us too as another set of hands so I could still attend all events with him (children aren't allowed).  But in the end, we rationalized that we needed to leave Sloane home.

I have been writing the manifesto (my dear friend entitled it that) for our guardians for the 3 nights and 4 days. We haven't exactly recreated the wheel. Our players are the same ones as always...the machine, nonni, mammie and ti-ti. My manifesto is paragraphs and paragraphs long with a daily schedule, food options, rules, tid-bits, operational instructions on certains objects and a daily check list. I, do know, that I have issues. 3 of  these woman have raised children who are completely normal and the machine is Sloane's best bud, but none of them know Sloane like I do.  

Sloane has been attaching herself to me this week telling me that she misses me and that she doesn't want me to leave. I am not sure what it is about. We haven't exactly drilled into her that we are going away on vacation. We have only casually mentioned it. Nevertheless, it is not helping that panic. I know I will cry on the runway and I am pretty sure I will cry while I am there. I know that I will call more times then I need too and become completely panicked when the phone isn't answered. My hubby thinks I'm going to "jack-up" on him. The truth be told, I don't think I will, but I can't promise him. Lol

In years past, I would have been jumping for joy to be traveling to a warmer climate for a few days of sun, sand and sex...ha! I am the girl who went on at least 2 plan trips a year. The girl whose bags were packed when the ticket was booked. The girl who usually planned the vacation and looked for takers to come along. But tonight, I just assume plug in a heat lamp, fill the room with some sand from Sloane's sandbox and have some fun! Panic has set in.