Never Think Never

Something happened  that I never thought would. I uttered words I never though I would. I said these words out loud: It is easier to go to work than to be a stay at home mom! Never did I think I would say that. Never did I believe it when people said it was true. Never could imagine that in one short month I would have figured it out.

Sloane goes to preschool while I go to work 4 days a week. We both have one day off . The same day. Thursdays. Every Thursday since the beginning of the school year has been a struggle. A struggle like we haven't had before. I am going to assume that the difficulty Sloane and I are having...we aren't exactly hitting high notes or getting our groove on.....is because of reasons that aren't comforting to this control freak mom!!!

I know that Sloane is off her sleep schedule.  Something is going on with my child. She is perpetually tired. Grabbing her earlobes, tripping over her feet and listening like batteries in her listening ears have been removed. I thought by now, we would have set into a schedule. One similar to what we are used to....a timely nap followed by an age appropriate bedtime.  That has not not happened yet???? What I have is a nap that starts and ends too late and a prompt bedtime that is followed by a restless falling to sleep period that is almost endless pushing bedtime to a very inappropriate bedtime.  It's become a cycle I can not change which is in turn making me very tired too!!!

There are 2 very different schools of thought on this topic and I can't decide which one I want to swim with. There is the thought that Sloane is overtired and therefore unable to settle into sleep. I
have been a firm supporter of this philosophy for 3 years.  The more a child sleeps, the more they want too.  When Sloane was on a structured sleep schedule, I never had these issues with her not falling asleep for an hour. The 2nd thought is that Sloane is outgrowing her nap. This thought is not music to my ears!!!! I don't want to accept this thought process. I know many people whose children don't sleep after 2 or people whose children don't nap once preschool starts. I'm not ready to let go of the nap. I, clearly, know it is not about me???? I am on a mission to figure out the conundrum of the sleep cycle. It has become my obsession.

By Thursday, I am on fast forward with household errands and activities for Sloane and me. Sloane, on the other hand, is wanting to do exactly what a three year old who has been in school for the past 3 days should want to do......nothing!!! The struggle begins as soon as our day starts and tonight it didn't end until an hour after bedtime. And at one point each Thursday, I think to myself.....it is easier to go to work than stay at home with your child. I never thought I would utter those words. 

After my revelation, I share my new philosophy with my sister in law who is traveling behind me by 9 months exactly. She looks me dead in the face and with a squeal says.....of course, it is. I never thought it was true but now that I head to work 1 day a week I know it is!!!! And with that, we toasted to the stay at home moms we were and the part-time working moms we have become!!!