"It" turns to "Them"

This story has a month long back story that brings us to yesterday in Dr. Reibman's office. The back story isn't as comforting as the exchange Dr. Reibman and I had yesterday, but here it is.

Sloane has had this thing...this bump...this pimple...this never going away red mark on her chin for weeks. I assumed it was a pimple/blemish from her preschool hands and treated it that way for weeks. Last week though, mammie alerted me to all the other options it could be. I listened and filed them in the back of my mind waiting for "it" to disappear. Well the beginning of the week, the "it" grew into a "them" and I decided to call the doc and so off we went....thankfully!! Seeing as though, mammie was right. It wasn't a pimple or a blemish. "It" that turned into "them" is an infection under the skin. The actual name we never diagnosed. We left Dr. Reibman with a topical antibiotic cream and an oral medicine. Super excited to give Sloane oral meds twice a day for 7 days. NOT!!!

While I had Dr. Reibman's face to face, I explained about our decision on December 9th. I had been thinking of calling her to discuss, but never got around to it. Once I went through my spiel, she stated that she 100% agrees with our decision. I aksed "even though we are putting her under again" and she said yes. Followed by something like  "Tarra, I hear the wheeze how. We need to know why at this point. It's in her airway. This isn't an asthma wheeze. Let's get some answers."

I have to say, it felt good to have her stamp of approval. I think we will always 2nd guess ourselves in regards to inflicting pain or discomfort or fears in our children. I have not wrapped my head around Sloane going into the OR that day or the night we will spend in ICU after the procedure. Historically, Sloane has some trouble coming out of anesthesia. Accepting the procedure as a go is one thing. Preparing for it mentally and emotionally is another.